A teenager who beat a schoolboy to death with a spanner has told a court he did not think his friends would accept him if he was gay.
Matthew Mason, 19, admits killing 15-year-old Alex Rodda in woodland in Ashley, Cheshire, on 12 December last year but denies his murder.
Chester Crown Court has heard Mr Mason paid Alex £2,000 to stop him revealing their sexual relationship.
He said he asked his friends for money but did not tell them what it was for.
Mr Mason told the court he was “embarrassed and worried” and feared the friendship would end “because they would not accept me for what happened”.
Asked by prosecutor Ian Unsworth QC what he meant, he said: “Because of what me and Alex had done together, like if I was to speak to someone about it they wouldn’t understand why it had happened and they wouldn’t accept me if I was gay or bisexual.”
Mr Mason, of Ash Lane in Ollerton, admitted having sex with Alex but said he thought it was wrong, adding: “For one, because he was a male and, secondly, his age.”
He told the jury he did not hate Alex for blackmailing him but he thought he was “being a bit of a bully”.
The court heard Mr Mason had searched the internet for phrases including “what would happen if you kicked someone down the stairs” and “everyday poison”.
He told jurors he felt depressed and suicidal after his girlfriend broke up with him when Alex contacted her and told her about an explicit photo and video he had sent him.
Mr Mason told the court he worked at a plant hire firm, attended Reaseheath College and was rehearsing for the Young Farmers’ Club’s Christmas play.
He accepted he hit Alex at least 15 times on the head with the spanner after driving to remote woodland.
He said when he drove away from the scene he threw Alex’s phone out of the car.
The jury was told before giving evidence he had not previously admitted disposing of the phone.
The trial continues.